Thursday, December 28, 2006

Be careful what you wish for

The Clippers and perhaps a coupe of other teams are interested in trading for Ron Artest, much as the Kings were a year ago. Ron-Ron is like that smoking hot girl, the one you fantasized about and finally got...only to find out that she has an affinity for tequila and coke (and I don't mean a nasty mixed drink). Seemed like a great idea, like living a dream, right up until around the second week of the relationship.

My favorite Artest moment of this season came last month when he missed a practice (and later a few games) due to back spasms. A victim of Tim Duncan's signature climbing over the back rebound move? Suffer a particularly nasty Dikembe Mutumbo rejection? No, Ron-Ron had been driving his wife's Mercedes SL500 back and forth to Arco Arena.

The car had been a gift from Artest to his wife Kimsha, but apparently it wasn't her style. So he started driving the car, but his back started giving him fits. He has since switched back to his Hummer and put the Mercedes on the market. Maybe Earl Boykins needs a new ride?

One thing's for certain - whoever ends up trading for Artest, they will end up with a case of buyer's remorse that can't be cured by any Hummer. And as every woman knows, any problem a Hummer can't cure is out of control.

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