Flyers: $10...Having your penis confiscated: Priceless

If you are going to protest something, the most effective way IMO is to do it with tongue planted firmly in cheek. Many do so, but few rise to this level of genius.

As you are undoubtedly aware, the play The Vagina Monologues has been quite a phenomenon on college campuses. V-Day (Psst…the “V” is for “vagina”!) is now celebrated across the country annually. Women wear t-shirts and buttons with catchy sayings like “I [heart] my vagina, hold c-fests (“C” does not stand for vagina), and create large imitation vaginas. You would think that a similar genital celebration for the opposite sex would also be a cause for unbridled joy and empowerment, wouldn’t you? Nope, it turns out that politically correct sexist dogma trumps good, old-fashioned equality in this case. As if it could be any other way in today’s academy.

The geniuses who exposed yet another hypocritical double standard were Roger Williams U students who decided to celebrate P-Day (Okay, you know the drill now). They put together a satirical play, The Penis Monologues. They created their own mascot, a friendly penis named Testaclese. They passed out flyers with their own catchy slogans: “My penis is majestic”; “My penis is hilarious”; “My penis is studious” (complete with a picture of Testaclese lounging and reading Barone’s “Hard America, Soft America”. They did not have a guy wearing a trench coat and hat named Dick Private, but I assume that was just an oversight on their part.

Unfortunately, in his tour of campus Testaclese eventually ran into Provost Edward Kavanagh, who first greeted him (it?) warmly, apparently mistaking him for an actual mushroom. It was only when the provost looked at the honorary “Penis Warrior” did he realize that something was amiss. The P-Day participants were shortly ordered by university officials to cease and desist. Nothing that V-Day was allowed to celebrate by doing exactly the same things, they students refused. The irony-impaired administrators proceeded to confiscate the Testaclese costume and brought at least some of the students up on formal charges, which are pending.

The moral of the story? I’m not sure, but I’m torn between “Castrating the world, two testicles at a time, so women don’t have to worry about the right to choose!” and “Mamas don’t let your boys grow up to be men!”

[Thanks to Christina Hoff Sommers for the facts in this story]